


Sarsaparilla

by succmypoolnoodle (yokazex)



Series: Novocaine (Takamori Oneshots) [1]
Category: HoloEN, Hololive, Virtual Streamer Animated Characters
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Drugs, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Feelings, References to Drugs, calli does drugs, thats it, thats the fanfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-28 06:15:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30135246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yokazex/pseuds/succmypoolnoodle
Summary: These little pills make Calli remember when times were much simpler.
Relationships: Mori Calliope & Takanashi Kiara, Mori Calliope/Takanashi Kiara
Series: Novocaine (Takamori Oneshots) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2217870
Comments: 2
Kudos: 63





	Sarsaparilla

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: This fanfic has heavy references to drugs so if that isn't your thing, then this might not be the fanfiction for you. Lastly, the characters are entirely separate from their real-life self and this is just a small headcanon/au of Calli just taking drugs because I was inspired by a song called Wozwald, the characters do not actually take drugs.
> 
> Also, the title is weird, it's a type of soft drink and not a drug but I'd rather call it that instead of methamphetamine.

This damn city could never be as beautiful as that little town tucked away somewhere in Europe.

That was the sad sentiment Calliope had always held. Little tidbits of memories she could hardly even remember pushed towards the back of her mind. But those memories were vivid enough that Calli could still picture the flourishing nature, the buildings, the food, and the kindness of the people that treated Calli as if she were their own.

The memories were a lie and yet Calli liked to lose herself among these memories, to drown out the unsavory emotions that have always tormented her. And if she could never remember, there were always the little, purple pills that helped her mind to ease and release the pent-up stress, rage, and sorrow that hindered her to remember.

Then alcohol came along, bringing along with it, the various girls that took her away in the darkest corners of the night and promised her that they would give her a time of her life for $30 a night, and eventually the slighter of a chance that Calli could recover had withered and died.

She couldn’t stop, She _wouldn’t._ Whenever she tried to stop, the pain and sorrow she always felt would drown her and her brain would make a million of excuses to cave in. She remembered what Ina had told her when she saw how messy and disorganized Calli had become, word for word. _You sometimes don’t need water to drown, Calli. So please, stop before you find yourself at that point._

 _‘I’m so sorry Ina, I’m so, so sorry’_ An apology that Calli would repeat in her head like a broken record. An apology that would never be heard.

Sharp clacks echoed throughout the darkened hallway as heels tapped rhythmically on the hard, concrete floors and interrupted Calli's thoughts. Each clack seemed to grow louder and Calli grew weary as she realized someone else’s unwanted presence was with her. No one was supposed to be awake in the dead of night.

She took out one of those purple pills from her coat’s pockets and quickly swallowed it before anyone could see her. The echoes seemed to stop and Calli felt relief washing over her.

“You’ve been taking those pills again, haven’t you?” Calli froze as she heard a familiar voice from behind her. She always answered any questions that were thrown at her, even if she despised them, but for once her smart tongue was at a loss for words. Her silence was deafening.

She spun around to meet whoever was questioning her. The first thing she saw was orange hair, tinted blue almost like flames, and the most brilliant, yet familiar purple eyes that she always lost herself in. 

Kiara Takanashi stood in front of Calli, her arms crossed in front of her chest and her lips quirked up into a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

“Calli, are you taking those pills again?” Kiara asked again slowly, noticing Lire’s hesitation. Her voice sounded calm, but Calli could hear a slight tremble as if the former was struggling to keep herself from anger.

Calli didn’t need to respond, Kiara already knew the answer.

“Why?” One word was enough for Calli to understand what Kiara was asking. _Why do you keep doing this? Why do you do this yourself?_

“WHY!?” Kiara’s voice was hoarse as she screamed at Calli. As she was about to answer, Kiara lunged and grabbed her by the collar of her coat. Calli didn’t move. She felt Kiara tremble as tears burst from her eyes and cascading down her pale cheeks like a waterfall.

“Please...just stop…” Kiara spoke as her figure sagged andCalli had to wrap her arms around her before she fell onto the floor. “It hurts...it hurts to see you like this, just...why do you keep doing this?”

Because Calli just wanted to drown inside lies that she wanted to believe. Because within her cultish life, she was barely alive and she needed those lies to cope. And she would gladly take those medicines if it helped her to believe, even if it left her more sicker than she was before.

But Calli couldn’t find the strength to answer Kiara, washed up in shame that the latter found her like this, a discarded husk of her former self.

“I’m sorry” Calli managed to whisper. “I...really am.” And she began to cry, as if the dam that held and trapped her flooding emotions had burst. The hallway was immediately filled by hiccups and ugly crying from the poor woman. She held Kiara tighter even when her knuckles turned white or when her nails punctured her calloused skin and drawing blood. Calli despised fragility, she was always the pillar that supported her friends whenever they were down, but for once in her life she let herself be weak.

Kiara was in a daze, she didn’t know what to do. The strongest person she knew was crying- and for the first time she had ever seen. The strong, intimidating front that Calli had always put on was finally breaking, and Kiara could perfectly see just how fragile and broken she really was, how much she sought solace and ending up more sorrowful than before. She felt concerned of course, but not pity. Calli would hate her if she felt pitiful.

Kiara was never good at comforting people. It was why she mostly avoided people from time to time. However for once in this particular moment, she felt like she knew what to do. She began to stroke Calli’s hair to comfort her, her soft hands running through the latter’s pink locks.

Calli’s eyes darted upwards to look at Kiara. Her lilac eyes were swirling with worry and sadness, but there was a smile on her face. It was a small gesture, but it filled Calli’s heart with hope that at least someone was willing to deal with her burdensome self.

Without any warning, the pill began to take effect. Dazed and confused, Calli withdrew herself from Kiara’s embrace as she struggled to regain her sense of equilibrium. She felt herself falling, and falling, forgetting her surroundings around her. She found herself in the deep, dark depths of a watery abyss, too exhausted to swim up, too weak to find a way to escape.

So yet again Calli allowed herself to sink into her ocean of lies, drowning in its rhythmatic ease. The waves were always forever gentle, carrying the echoes of memories that were protected by the ocean’s cradle of brine.

Again she remembers those tidbits of memories and she could picture the flourishing nature, the buildings, the food, and the kindness of the people that treated Lire as if she were their own.

This damn city could never be as beautiful as that little town tucked away somewhere in Europe.

This was the sad sentiment Calli would forever hold.


End file.
